I don't know about you, but my life is a series of contradictions. Set goals/Live in the Now; "Just do it”/ Relax, slow down; Be selfless/Take care of yourself; Be responsible/don't stress: just to name a few. My friends, the voices in my head, are in constant discussion over these opposing thoughts. Then there is the brain to heart discussion. Oh my, staying focused on being in the moment can be taxing, to say the least. This internal tug of war, always ready to engage in our hearts and minds, confuses us and at times sets in motion a runaway train of over thinking.
As I awoke early this morning, I was in the "NOW"... I still am, well almost. My mind takes over, and not in a bad way. Mornings are always, full of possibilities and opportunities, it’s the nature of beginnings. Well, kind of. Sometimes my morning peace is interrupted with the “To Do” list. My thoughts at 4am began like this; First there's T's in Cranston to go to, that was from 5am-6am, then to our bookkeeper with the weekly invoices, there was the call from partner Mark about "whatever", and of course this is the morning I visit our Narragansett store. It's still only 6:30am. So much for still, my mind is racing a bit, maybe it's the second cup of T’s dark roast, maybe it's the call out in our East Greenwich store, oh well.
By 6:30 I am on 295 heading south, and the late autumn sun decides to show itself in the southeast. I put the vehicle in cruise and try to sort out the day. Figure study at 9am, Berge from Gallery Z at 11 am, hmm, who was I meeting for lunch?, I wonder if they fixed the dishwasher in Narragansett, did Tara hire that new cook for Cranston, and the voices in my head continue the conversation.
I do, however, have the sensibility to put Pandora Radio on, I settle back a bit, the voice returns. Bla, Bla, Bla. I get off at Wickford and before you know it, my mind is engaged in the day ahead again. By now I am on Rt1a, heading toward Narragansett. I am passing Casey Farm and I notice the kiss of light on the farm house peaks, I glance left and see The Newport Bridge lit up like I’ve never seen. I actually have to back up to take a photo. I get out of my car and immediately feel the below freezing cool Narragansett Bay air. It, along with the image of a glistening bridge jostles me into “NOW”. I realize that I need to de-clutter. I drive another mile and there is Narragansett Beach, gloriously empty. Not for long, I turn in. At which point, I thank God for the jolt of beauty, and crisp late autumn “by the ocean air”. Ahhh, a deep breath of GRACE slows my being. I can see again. I hear the lapping of the low tide. What a way to continue the day.
To do lists, chores, responsibilities, and voices in our heads are realities that we all face. Listening to the voices is our choice. Just remember there’s always the pause button for that chatter. There is also the internal soulful pause button that allows for awareness of the gifts that surround us each and every day.